Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Bossypants

Bossypants
By Tina Fey

277 pages (kindle)

Grade B+

There are two things I knew about Tina Fey before reading this book.  One, she was on SNL and two, she does an incredible impersonation of Sarah Palin.  That was IT!  However, after reading her book, Matt and I went on to watch all the episodes of 30 Rock and every Tina Fey movie we can find on Netflix.  We now love her.

I think she is terribly funny and Matt things she is incredibly beautiful.  He also thinks she is funny and I also think she is pretty but that is besides the point.

I really liked reading about how she started her acting carrer and how she really worked for it.  And I really admire her success.  She has done great with all she has done.  Her book is funny and quirky and even though I think this is one of those books that needs to be "read" on audio, I was still able to capture her voice in my head while I read it on my kindle.  What is great about this book, is that I consider stars to be superheros, or super humans, above criticism, critique and judgements.  I mean, they can't be 'real' humans, they are only on TV.  But after reading her book, you get to know that she is just as self conscience as I am, just as awkward.  And it's comforting to know that she is, after all, just human.

I would recommend this book to anyone that wondered if it was worth reading.  It is.  And it's quick too, I finished it in just a couple days.

So I will leave you with this quote from her book has been floating around pinterest for a while now and every time I see it, I read it and still smile.  It's my favorite part of her book.  It's a prayer to her daughter:

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
Amen.”
-Tina Fey 


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